Horsewoman Needs Help

I have devoted myself to provide for my friends (4 legged) my entire life. My commitment to them is most important to me as a human and I am now in desperate need of help. I have never been involved in forums or chat or anything like this before and an now desperatly seeking some support for my 2 devoted boys. They gave me years of service and more than once my boy Red (Seven S Two Rock) place himself in harms way to protect me while performing as a lead pony at the races for over 15 years. My promise to them when we retired was that I would ensure them the loyalty they deserved and to live out their lives never having to be returned to the life they had before I found them. Both had been abused and were able to be useful and productive after my reconditioning. They are great individuals and I have been blessed to find a wonderful farm for them where they are loved and admired by the woman there. She is generous beyond belief and has given me the great rate of $500 month for BOTH to have full board. I am having physical problems and have been unemployed for over 6 months and have reached the end of my savings. I have nightmares of them being sent to the killers and am now becoming tearful just with the thought of my failure to provide for them. Is there anyone out there who cares? You have no idea how scared I am for them or the guilt I feel. HELP please